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IC INBOX FOR HAVEN
Hey there, sorry, I can't reply right now but if you wanna leave me a message I'll get back to you as soon as possible! If I'm out on some adventure, it might take a bit longer than you'd like! If it's a pretty girl, feel free to leave your phone number for me, too! Yooooosh!!
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He knew Hide was worried, he saw the post he made, but hearing it directly in his voice sets off a new wave of guilt in him, and he shuffles awkwardly on the other end of the line. ]
Sorry about your heart... I didn't plan on it.
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But with circumstances as they were--The other working in a coffee shop for ghouls; having to adjust to a new eating habit; He could only think of one thing. One thing--to be something--someone--who didn't change in his life. Something normal. Something; and someone; Kaneki could always fall back on. Even now, after weeks of being terrified.]
That's the way this place is, right? Never really plan for any sort of awful thing that happens. [He laughs, the sound is mirthful--but perhaps, just a little forced.]
...So what happened?
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[ He has so much to come clean for; this feels like a confessional. He's tired of shitting his best friend out, he's tired of being alone, he's--tired. He's so tired.
There's a long silence again, and a deep breath. ]
It was really bad... I wanted to disappear, but I didn't think I actually would.
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He knew things; already; but blurting them out over a phone call... No, it could wait. Slow and steady.]
You know, whatever it was, Kaneki. I'd have your back, right. [There's not one moment of hesitation in his voice, not one ounce of anything dishonest.] Even if you did want to disappear. You're back; now. And you can tell me anything.
...You know that, right?
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[ He wishes he was the same. Disappearing for as long as he had back home, and doing the same thing here--why? What was his reason, again...? Shame? Embarrassment? Rejection? Hide wouldn't judge him for anything. ]
There used to be a reason I kept things from you, back when we were home. It was important that I did, so I did, but that reason isn't here anymore, and you're in more danger if you don't know than if you do.
I have so much to tell you.
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Startling... but at the same time, it's a sound that's a relief to his ears. Whatever resilience Kaneki had found, Hide hoped it wasn't forged in fire.]
You were tryin' to protect me. Weren't you? [There's a calm sound in the blonde's voice, a resilience of his own. It's the reason why you've kept secrets from me, before.]
I'll listen. To everything. You've got my ear, for as long as you need it. I'm still here for you, even if this place can make it a bit hard.
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[ His voice gets louder and more broken the more he goes on, and it doesn't sound like he's talking directly to Hide as much as he's babbling emotionally to himself.
He does go silent for a bit after trailing off, picking at his nails nervously with his teeth. Before he knows it, he's eaten off his fingertips. Shit. ]
I think this is something I should tell you in person. Do you want to meet me...?
[ There's a nervousness in that, like he's expecting the answer to be no. ]
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--Hey. Kaneki. Calm down. It's alright, right? You were protectin' me. You said it yourself.
[He'd already gone quiet, but it's the jagged uncertainty in the others' request that fills him with the need to reassure the other.]
Yeah. I want to meet you. It'd be easier that way, right. Just tell me where, and I'll be there, bud.
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Where the well used to be...?
[ Somewhere open. Public. Somewhere where Hide can leave if he wants to--needs to--has to. ]
audio; -> action;
Where the well used to be there. I'll be there in no time at all; so don't keep me waitin' alright, buddy?
[A public place--one that was close to where he already was. After hanging up the phone, he takes no time in collecting up his headphones and jacket, heading to the spot the other had told him.
Upon approaching, the view of the other in the slight distance, he's already waving, an arm over his head--]
...Talk about a drastic change in hairstyle, bud. A new style you're trying out?
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So, he's early, and he gets to rile himself up in his own panicked tenseness for the few minutes it takes Hide to arrive after him. He considers running a thousand times, but he never ends up moving from his spot, and by the time Hide is waving him over, it's already too late.
He's committed to this now. ]
Ah, yeah. It was time for a change... [ Not by his choice, but it isn't a lie. It was time for a change. ]
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...It was real. Weird, how perfectly snow white it was, too.]
...It's good to see you. [Finally, a tone that was a little more serious, his hands falling away after a moment.] I was worried like hell, man.
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The guilt is back with a vengeance though at the last comment, and he worries at the inside of his lip with his teeth. ] ... Sorry.
[ What else more can he say? "Sorry, I've been avoiding you for almost a month now, and I'm only here so nobody else tells you what I've been doing"? Pathetic effort. ]
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We came here to talk, right? Apologisin' ain't getting either of us anywhere. [He drops his hand away from the others' face, returning it to his side as he gives the other a warm smile.]
Whatever you got to say, I'm here for it. Scolding you for bein' away so long can come later.
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But knowing that doesn't make the words any easier to get out. He wets his mouth, wets it again, looks away, looks back, looks away again, runs a hand through his hair, touches his face, rubs his neck, takes a short exhale--
God, he's dragging this out. ]
The thing is-- The reason why I disappeared-- I mean, even before that... Uh, a long time back--
[ This is going very badly. Where is he supposed to start from? ]
Hahah, I don't know where to begin...
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It's normal; the way Kaneki moves; the same way he always tries to figure out a way to explain something without causing too much of a domino effect.
When he admits not knowing where to begin, Hide just smiles, the expression calm, his eyebrows furrowing. If he continued the role of the ignorant friend; they weren't going to get anywhere.]
'The reason why you disappeared'. We can begin with that, Aa? [A hand reaches back, fingers scrubbing against the back of his own neck.]
It was Aoigiri Tree's fault, right?
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Was it Aogiri's fault he disappeared? No, it was his fault, but-- ]
How... did you...?
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I followed around a guy who looked real suspect, and my hunch turned out to be right. I hoped by having the CCG crash the place down, that you'd show back up, but.
...I guess some plans don't work out quite so smoothly.
[Something of a weak smile.]
You became even scarcer after that.
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[ Jesus. How blind has he been all this time not to know the kinds of things Hide was involved in?
More importantly--who the hell did Hide follow? He could have been killed.
He rubs his head, nodding slowly. He remembers disappearing after that too. He... had a lot to do. ]
Did you know I was there...?
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It was a little harrowing, but it was worth it in the end, I think.
And that's the thing.
[You should know this by now, Kaneki.]
I didn't know you were there.
I just had a hunch.
Turns out I was right.
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[ He tries to keep his tone light, but he's having the same problem Hide is--it doesn't quite fit. ]
I was there. They came to Anteiku looking for me. I'm not sure how long I was there for, in the end... I lost track of the time.
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I'll take that compliment and run with it. [It doesn't fit, mainly, because there's still one major fact missing; And that's Hide's complete awareness to Kaneki's 'Ghoul' status.
Have you figured it out yet?]
Makes me wonder why they'd drag you off. That was one thing I couldn't figure out, why the biggest ghoul organisation in Tokyo wanted you.
[Fingers scratch against his cheek, and he shakes his head. This is... the last chance he's giving Kaneki to figure it out; before outright telling him, he decides.]
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Not for the first time throughout this conversation, Kaneki falls into a tense and guilty, heavy silence. He wets his lips twice before actually getting a word out, and though it would be easier if he were looking away or had his eyes closed, he doesn't start talking until he's actually looking at his best friend. ]
Hide...
[ It hits him then, a lot of things that don't make sense. He "had a hunch" that Kaneki was there, that Kaneki was connected to Aogiri? He hoped that Kaneki would come back once Aogiri was taken down? How did he know--how did he know Kaneki was involved?
The expression on Kaneki's face changes, and it's obvious he's changed the statement he was going to make into something else entirely.
Why else would anyone suspect that Kaneki was connected to Aogiri, unless-- ]
... You figured out why, didn't you?
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[He's quiet a moment as Kaneki speaks, something like a weight lifting off his shoulders. Not having to say it outright was a little easier on his head, for sure. But waiting to see if the other would freak out was still another worry.
After a moment, he nods. Hands sliding to settle into his pocket as his smile shifts to something a little morose in nature.]
Yeah. I did. ...While ago, now, actually.
I've known since, well.
Touka saved us, you know?
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You knew... You knew?
[ All along? Even when he was careful, even when he left to draw the CCG away from his friends, his life, everything--he knew. ]
All this time... All this time you knew, then what was I...--?
[ What was he trying to do? Why did he struggle on his own to keep everyone safe, to keep everyone in the dark, to keep everyone--to protect everyone who needed to be protected, to protect himself, to protect Kaneki from what Kaneki became and what Kaneki did to Kaneki did to Kaneki did to Kaneki did to protect from what Kaneki did to-- ]
You didn't--...! Why didn't you--...?
[ He's getting disjointed and nonsensical, his mind swimming in every direction at once. What is this, what's going on--he knew? ]
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