nagachika | IC INBOX FOR MASK OR MENACE

Since when?

Edited 2015-06-14 10:03 (UTC)

[Honestly, he didn't expect a reply right away. Especially when some time passed without a word.

But when a reply DOES show up, honestly--he's relieved.

Because he'd finally gotten through that skull. ...Even if the question was one that he didn't really know the answer to.]

 ...Don't know. A while. Maybe Disney. The first time around.

Didn't want to freak you out by saying it outright; but. 

It really took you this long to notice.

[ you weren't obvious at all! Not to mention you tried to kiss Annie? How would Ken know??? ]

I'm sorry. [ he isn't apologizing for not noticing ] Hide, you shouldn't think that of me. It's not good. You chose the worst person. [ Annie would be much better, even with the punching ]

[IT WAS JUST A CHEEK KISS and besides it was the rejection he needed to even start thinking seriously on this in the first place.]

 I kind of figured you'd say something like that. But I'd have to argue.

There's no-one I'm closer to. And besides. 


You're hardly even the Worst person. You've always been on my side.

Hide, come on. I'm crazy. I'm not right. I'm all wrong. I'll just hurt you again, even if I don't want to.

 I don't really care about any of that. So maybe I'm a little selfish in saying so.

But you can think you're 'wrong' as you want. It won't really do much to change things.

And... I'm not afraid of you. Even if you do hurt me.

[Even if you DID hurt me, once.]

You can't just say that. You aren't thinking this through, at all. Think, Nagachika: I eat people. How are you going to accommodate that fact?

Same way I've been 'accommodating' for it this entire time. You've been changed beyond your control. It's not something either of us really have any say in.

I wasn't going to reject you for being a ghoul before. Why would it effect how I feel now?

[ So. You don't plan on ever kissing that mouth that eats humans? if the plan is to keep doing exactly the same, without anything... extra (like kisses. or more), isn't that just being friends?

.......... ]

So we stay as we are, right? [ nothing changes? ]

...If you don't want anything to change, then yeah.

[Rejection? Or just... Kaneki being Kaneki.]

If you don't feel the same, I ain't going to force you into anything for my sake.

[ Kaneki's heart squeezes and he isn't sure how to answer this. At all.

Hide is the most important person in Kaneki's life; he'd kill the world for him, and this is not an hyperbole. Kaneki's greatest fear and worst nightmare is to lose him. And if what happened with Nishio-senpai had happened now? Kaneki would have murdered him in less than a second for ever touching Hide. kaneki stalks Hide, Kaneki is thirsty for him.

And there was a person who hurt him a lot. Himself. And he can't forgive that, either. He never will.

Kaneki loves him. So, so much. More than anything. He never thought about it romantically because Kaneki never thought about romance after being turned into a ghoul, since he isn't right and he is a mess, and he probably believes he doesn't deserve any of it. He will just hurt others, so why even dream of such a thing? But he loves this person like he probably will never ever love someone else.

So he feels the same. If not more. And he can't Hide he doesn't feel the same, he can't lie about that.

But Hide must understand what this entails and he doesn't. ]

Nagachika, this usually involve things- [ if Kaneki wasn't panicking, he'd be so embarrassed ]

-intimate, I mean. We can't do those things. [ He thinks it's obvious why not. ]

Edited 2015-06-14 11:13 (UTC)

[The most outstanding thing here, to him, was the fact that Kaneki wasn't turning him down. He was making excuses about being a monster, being crazy, and about not being 'able' to go ahead with things because of what Kaneki is.

Maybe it's a little selfish to disregard the others' feelings in this way; but. When you really do love someone, you really don't pay so much attention to obvious flaws. Especially when they're something that have nothing to do with your feelings for a person in the first place.]

I know. [He doesn't know the exact details of Kaneki's issue, but there's one he can at least guess.] 'I wouldn't want to kiss you with the same mouth I eat people with', or something like that, right?

[All that goes right along with Kaneki's usual arguments, so...]

Isn't it natural to think that? [ he is also so terribly afraid of what he would think if he ever kissed Hide; about his taste.

He doesn't want to ever think that. ]

[He thinks about it for a moment; and honestly, no, it's not unnatural. And honestly he wouldn't want to kiss Kaneki after eating; but--]

Kind of goes both ways, doesn't it? Human food tastes really bad to ghouls, right?

But. No. It's not unnatural. But I really don't think you'd bite me or something.

This isn't about taste. [ it's about being gross, to Hide, who is human.

And it is a bit about taste, but mostly how Kaneki would react to Hide's taste. ]

Are you okay with that? That we will never kiss. [ or do anything else, really. ]

I'm patient.

[He wasn't about to say yes, he's fine with it. Because if he really was going to end up with Kaneki, there was absolutely no promise he'd not try to get close to him in a lot of ways.]

It's not like I'm expecting you to drop all your worries and be with me unconditionally or anything. Come on, this isn't one of your novels.

[ does he think this is simple? Easy? ]

You aren't thinking this through at all. It's because this isn't one of my novels that you should see how this won't go anywhere.

[ keep saying that, Ken, maybe he will listen. ]

[No, he doesn't. Because it isn't easy. How stupid was it, falling for your best friend?

But it's not being made easier by Kaneki's constant arguments and push-backs.]

I've been thinking about it for ages now, don't tell me I'm not 'thinking this through'.

The only thing in the way of us figuring this out is your disgust with yourself.

You haven't once said anything about how you actually feel; all that aside.

[ Hide, no ]

I can't tell you. You will just hold on, and that is unfair.

[ that's an answer.

He just answered. He knows. ]

...

You just told me, you big idiot.

[His hand is over his face, and he's trying his best to keep the dumb grin off it. But he's failing.

Ken, you really are funny.]

It shouldn't be me. You should like a pretty girl. With nice hair. A cute smile. Nice breasts? Instead you get this. How did that happen?

 Sometimes life doesn't take you down the path you expect. Sure, I've hit on and even dated pretty girls here and there, but.

Actual connections take time and dedication. Maybe getting punched in the face by Annie was a good thing. 

It made me think about what I had, instead of continuing to look past it.

I thought I was the romantic one here. What do we do now, Nagachika?

...As if I've got any experience with this at all.

[This is the first time he'll be asking out a Man, after all.]

First thing's first, I guess. If we're going to start dating, are you going to tell me where you live?

[He knows already, but. Hey. Did Touka tell you that after?]

You have dated more than I have.

[ and nom, touka didn't tell him ]

Alright. I didn't tell you before because I was worried.[ he will send the address, though ]

Is it going to be a secret, that we are dating?

[text] oh yeah i'm done btw

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]