nagachika | IC INBOX FOR MASK OR MENACE

[Dense as HELL.]

...You really don't get it, do you.

Even if I'm being obvious as hell. I thought you'd have at least questioned the fact that I kissed your head; nevermind the fact that I let you sleep in my room last night without question.

[Come on.]

[ what the hell?

don't "come on" him, Kaneki honestly has no idea what this is about??? Why is Hide bringing that up, even? And obvious about what? ]

I have slept in your room before. But alright, I will ask: why did you kiss my head, then?

[ Kaneki doesn't think about romance, not anymore; it's a part he doesn't even think he can have anymore, and he honestly doesn't think anyone would be interested in giving it to him, given what he is and what he did - and still does. ]

In my room, yes, but not on top of me like that, oi.

[Was he really not being obvious enough?? He didn't remember Kaneki being so dense--or maybe his message really was shitty and unclear.]

 I mean I didn't mind because I don't mind being that close to you. I'm a little disappointed that it was the horsemen that caused that.

'cause I thought I'd finally gotten your attention.

[ it.................... ]

[ ........................... clicks? ]

[ SORTA???? ]

[ WHAT IS THIS ABOUT EVEN????

WHAT IS HIDE SAYING?? ]

[ no, no, no. This is all wrong, Hide doesn't mean that, obviously. Why would he??? Why would anyone???? ]

[ What the fuck, Hide?

He doesn't understand a word he is writing, he has no idea what Hide means, he doesn't mean it that way, of course not! ]

[ it's a joke.

probably.

A bad joke?

Hide wouldn't joke about such things. They spoke about what it was like to date men long ago, but Hide wouldn't make that sort of jokes, it's not in his nature. ]

[ he can't take this as a joke, there is no way.

What is-

what does he say??? ]

Since when?

Edited 2015-06-14 10:03 (UTC)

[Honestly, he didn't expect a reply right away. Especially when some time passed without a word.

But when a reply DOES show up, honestly--he's relieved.

Because he'd finally gotten through that skull. ...Even if the question was one that he didn't really know the answer to.]

 ...Don't know. A while. Maybe Disney. The first time around.

Didn't want to freak you out by saying it outright; but. 

It really took you this long to notice.

[ you weren't obvious at all! Not to mention you tried to kiss Annie? How would Ken know??? ]

I'm sorry. [ he isn't apologizing for not noticing ] Hide, you shouldn't think that of me. It's not good. You chose the worst person. [ Annie would be much better, even with the punching ]

[IT WAS JUST A CHEEK KISS and besides it was the rejection he needed to even start thinking seriously on this in the first place.]

 I kind of figured you'd say something like that. But I'd have to argue.

There's no-one I'm closer to. And besides. 


You're hardly even the Worst person. You've always been on my side.

Hide, come on. I'm crazy. I'm not right. I'm all wrong. I'll just hurt you again, even if I don't want to.

 I don't really care about any of that. So maybe I'm a little selfish in saying so.

But you can think you're 'wrong' as you want. It won't really do much to change things.

And... I'm not afraid of you. Even if you do hurt me.

[Even if you DID hurt me, once.]

You can't just say that. You aren't thinking this through, at all. Think, Nagachika: I eat people. How are you going to accommodate that fact?

Same way I've been 'accommodating' for it this entire time. You've been changed beyond your control. It's not something either of us really have any say in.

I wasn't going to reject you for being a ghoul before. Why would it effect how I feel now?

[ So. You don't plan on ever kissing that mouth that eats humans? if the plan is to keep doing exactly the same, without anything... extra (like kisses. or more), isn't that just being friends?

.......... ]

So we stay as we are, right? [ nothing changes? ]

...If you don't want anything to change, then yeah.

[Rejection? Or just... Kaneki being Kaneki.]

If you don't feel the same, I ain't going to force you into anything for my sake.

[ Kaneki's heart squeezes and he isn't sure how to answer this. At all.

Hide is the most important person in Kaneki's life; he'd kill the world for him, and this is not an hyperbole. Kaneki's greatest fear and worst nightmare is to lose him. And if what happened with Nishio-senpai had happened now? Kaneki would have murdered him in less than a second for ever touching Hide. kaneki stalks Hide, Kaneki is thirsty for him.

And there was a person who hurt him a lot. Himself. And he can't forgive that, either. He never will.

Kaneki loves him. So, so much. More than anything. He never thought about it romantically because Kaneki never thought about romance after being turned into a ghoul, since he isn't right and he is a mess, and he probably believes he doesn't deserve any of it. He will just hurt others, so why even dream of such a thing? But he loves this person like he probably will never ever love someone else.

So he feels the same. If not more. And he can't Hide he doesn't feel the same, he can't lie about that.

But Hide must understand what this entails and he doesn't. ]

Nagachika, this usually involve things- [ if Kaneki wasn't panicking, he'd be so embarrassed ]

-intimate, I mean. We can't do those things. [ He thinks it's obvious why not. ]

Edited 2015-06-14 11:13 (UTC)

[The most outstanding thing here, to him, was the fact that Kaneki wasn't turning him down. He was making excuses about being a monster, being crazy, and about not being 'able' to go ahead with things because of what Kaneki is.

Maybe it's a little selfish to disregard the others' feelings in this way; but. When you really do love someone, you really don't pay so much attention to obvious flaws. Especially when they're something that have nothing to do with your feelings for a person in the first place.]

I know. [He doesn't know the exact details of Kaneki's issue, but there's one he can at least guess.] 'I wouldn't want to kiss you with the same mouth I eat people with', or something like that, right?

[All that goes right along with Kaneki's usual arguments, so...]

Isn't it natural to think that? [ he is also so terribly afraid of what he would think if he ever kissed Hide; about his taste.

He doesn't want to ever think that. ]

[He thinks about it for a moment; and honestly, no, it's not unnatural. And honestly he wouldn't want to kiss Kaneki after eating; but--]

Kind of goes both ways, doesn't it? Human food tastes really bad to ghouls, right?

But. No. It's not unnatural. But I really don't think you'd bite me or something.

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[text] 1/IDK

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[text] oh yeah i'm done btw

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